


Keyboard Surfing for Volleyballplayers

by Irratia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ? idk, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, How Do I Tag, Idiots in Love, M/M, No Straight Characters, Swearing, Texting, a lot of swearing, chatfic, groupchat, like forreal, lots of idiots lots of love, pls help, theres a lot more characters & ships but I dont wanna spam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 10:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19083139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irratia/pseuds/Irratia
Summary: Tsukishima Kei: do any of you ever think about the fact that water never really goes away and has been here since the beginning of water and that means that we might drink dinosaur pee?Yamaguchi Tadashi: "since the beginning of water" lmao Tsukki wtfSugawara Koushi: Are you okay?Tsukishima Kei: are any of us?Sawamura Daichi: It's three in the goddamn morning, go to bed!--The idea of having a groupchat in order to strengthen the Karasuno Volleyball Team's bond goes haywire, as expected with a group of highly gay teens with friends in other schoolsORyour everyday chatfic where the volleygays are all just idiots who like to keysmash and say stupid stuff





	Keyboard Surfing for Volleyballplayers

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo,  
> so thanks for clicking, I hope you like this shitassery. I'll try to upload regularly but I'm a student and have to work sooo... I'll try my best, please stick with me :)  
> Enjoy!(?)

**_Sawamura Daichi_** _added **Sugawara Koushi, Azumane Asahi, Nishinoya Yuu** and 8 others to_ “ **Karasuno Volleyball-Team** ”

  


**Wednesday 19:45/07:45PM**

**  
**

**Sawamura Daichi** : Good evening, everyone. We just had a meeting with Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei, who suggested we have a groupchat for our team, to improve communication and get news out faster.

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : owo what’s this?

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : oh ok, lol

 **Hinata Shouyo** : THAT’S A GREAT IDEA

 **Sugawara Koushi** : I tried warning them that this might not be a good idea. They didn’t listen.

 **Azumane Asahi** : No, you didn’t, that was me.

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Lies.

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : Lmao get him, babe!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : I feel like this is a bad idea.

 **Ennoshita Chikara** : same

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : stop being so pessimistic tsukishima!

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : this is great!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : So you’re just going to ignore Ennoshita-san agreeing with me, huh

 **Yamaguchi Tadashi** : that’s the gay-feelings-exclusion Tsukki, you know that

 **Hinata Shouyo** : get rekt Tsukishima!

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : wHaT??

 **Ennoshita Chikara** : what?

 **Tsukishima Kei:** What’s that supposed to mean?

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Dear lord, I’m not ready for another book in the “I have a gay awakening but am too stupid and dense to realize it, so I’ll just ignore it but pine in a painfully obvious way” series.

 **Yamaguchi Tadashi** : notice how captain never yells at Suga-san? That’s because they’re gay for each other.

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : WHAT?

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Ah, makes sense

 **Ennoshita Chikara** : I’m very much aware of my gayness, Suga, thank you very much.

 **Sawamura Daichi** : I don’t exclude Suga from punishments, what are you talking about?

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Oh, darling, keep telling yourself that

 **Azumane Asahi** : Yeah, right.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Was Daichi-san part of that gay denial series? Because I feel like he was.

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Yeah, it was adorable.

 **Azuma Asahi** : Yes, and it was painful.

 **Shimizu Kiyoko** : Yes, and it was very annoying.

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : Kiyoko-san!

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : KYIOKO-SAN! YOU’RE HERE TOOO!!

 **Shimizu Kyioko** : And that would be my cue to leave.

 **Sawamura Daichi** : Oh, okay, so you just come and attack me like that Kiyoko, huh? I see how it is.

 **Yamaguchi Tadashi** : I’m living for this

 **Tsukishima Kei** : stop being a whore for drama, Yamaguchi

 **Yamaguchi Tadashi** : stop trying to tell me what to do, Tsukki

 **Kageyama Tobio** : What is this?

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Proof that you can’t read, apparently

 **Kageyama Tobio** : Fuck you

 **Hinata Shouyou** : IT’S A GORPUCHAT FOR THE TEAM!!!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : gorpuchat

 **Yamaguchi Tadashi** : gorpuchat

 **Kinoshita Hisashi** : gorpuchat

 **Kageyama Tobio** : gorpuchat

 **Hinata Shouyou** : wow.

 **Hinata Shouyou** : I am disgusted?

 **Hinata Shouyou** : I dedicate my entire life to our lord and saviour Volleyball and this is the thanks I get?

 **Hinata Shouyou** : fuck you Kageyama

 **Ennoshita Chikara** : I love how Hisashi lurks and just comes out to make fun of Hinata.

 **Kinoshita Hisashi** : Actually I was catching up with the messages and then joined in, but way to come after me, Chikara.

 **Narita Kazuhito** : Can confirm

 **Sawamura Daichi** : How do you know what Kinoshita is doing?

 **Narita Kazuhito** : Sleepover

 **Sawamura Daichi** : It’s a school night.

 **Narita Kazuhito** : homosexuality

 **Sawamura Daichi** : IT’S A SCHOOL NIGHT!

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : And here I thought Daichi-san wasn’t a prude

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : being with Suga-san and all

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : lmao

 **Kinoshita Hisashi** :  wanna bet Daichi-san’s spluttering like hell rn?

 **Sugawara Koushi** : He is

 **Narita Kazuhito** : HoW dO yOu KnOw WhAt DaIcHi Is DoInG?

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Vice Captain reasons

 **Sugawara Koushi** : also gay stuff

 **Kinoshita Hisashi** : It’S a ScHoOl NiGhT

 **Sawamura Daichi** : I sense sass and I don’t like it.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : jfc this chat is a trainwreck already

**_Nishinoya Yuu_ ** _changed **Sawamura Daichi** ’s name to **Fathermura Dadchi**_

**Nishinoya Yuu** : that’s some real fatherly behaviour youre showing rn

 **Tanaka Ryuunosuke** : Yuu you genius! LET’S DO FUN NAMES

 **Tsukishima Kei** : God no

 **Nishinoya Yuu** : FUCK YEAH

**_Nishinoya Yuu_ ** _changed their name to **Yuurlibero**_

**_Tanaka Ryuunosuke_ ** _changed their name to **thebestsenpai**_

**_Kinoshita Hisashi_ ** _changed their name to **NoShit**_

**_Ennoshita Chikara_ ** _changed their name to **NoShit**_

**NoShit** : bitch

 **NoShit** : bitch

 **NoShit** : change your fucking name, I had it first

 **NoShit** : bitch

 **NoShit** : bitch

 **Tsukishima Kei** : jfc

**_Yamaguchi Tadashi_ ** _changed **Tsukishima Kei** ’s name to **Blindishima**_

**Blindishima** : stop calling me out Yamaguchi

**_Blindishima_ ** _changed **Yamaguchi Tadashi** ’s name to **Tamagutchi**_

**Tamagutchi** : “sToP cAlLiNg Me OuT yAmAgUcHi”

 **Tamagutchi** : take a look at yourself you bitch

 **Sugawara Koushi** : can you kids stop swearing at each other please

 **Fathermura Dadchi** : I don’t like this.

 **Azumane Asahi** : You brought it onto yourself, Dadchi.

 **Fathermura Dadchi** : Fuck you.

**_Sugawara Koushi_ ** _changed their name to **Sugarwara**_

  ** _Yuurlibero_** _changed **Azumane Asahi** ’s name to **SweetBabyJesus**_

 **Fathermura Dadchi** : Ha!

 **Kageyama Tobio** : What is going on, I’m confused

 **Blindishima** : aren’t you always tho?

**_Blindishima_ ** _changed **Kageyama Tobio** ’s name to **TheKingTM**_

**TheKingTM** : I hate you

 **Blindishima** : same

 **Blindishima** : also what’s new?

 **Hinata Shouyou** : WOAAAAHHHH YOU ALL HAVE SUCH COOL NAMES!!!!!!

**_Hinata Shouyou_ ** _changed their name to **THESUN**_

**Tamagutchi** : damn bitch, okay

 **Sugarwara** : Stop insulting each other!!  

 **SweetBabyJesus** : You call me a pussy on the daily

 **Sugarwara** : L I E S

 **Yuurlibero** : babe, continue being savage I’m living and I love you

 **SweetBabyJesus** : thanks?

 **Sugarwara** : I expected better from you, Noya.

 **Fathermura Dadchi** : I didn’t.

 **Narita Kazuhito** : harsh

 **thebestsenpai** : stop lurking and change your fucking user, bitch

**_Narita Kazuhito_ ** _changed their name to **Kazoohito**_

**Kazoohito** : I think its important to tell y’all that Chikara and Hisashi are currently arguing over the phone on who should changer their user

 **Kazoohito** : its funny

 **Blindishima** : I never expected Ennoshita-san to be the kind to get so worked up over a user

 **Yuurlibero** : well you thought wrong, bitch

 **Tamagutchi** : lmao

 **Tamagutchi** : for real tho Tsukki, Ennoshita-san puts the fear of god into Tanaka-san and Noya-san

 **Yuurlibero** : Ryuus into it tho

 **Sugarwara** : I’m porud of Ennoshita, he’ll keep all of you in check next year

 **thebestsenpai** : Yuu wtf the fuck

 **thebestsenpai** : wtf is that supposed to mean

 **Fathermura Dachi** : Dear lord

 **Blindishima** : jfc

 **TheKingTM** : what’s happening?

 **THESUN** : STUPIDYAMA can’t you read????

 **TheKingTM** : Fuck off, dumbass Im bad with interrettertextual relationships

 **Blindishima** : and texts in general

 **TheKingTM** : fuck off

 **Tamagutchi** : its true tho

 **TheKingTM** : … I

 **TheKingTM** : youre all very rude to me

 **THESUN** : its not our fault youre stupid!!!!

 **SweetBabyJesus** : is.. is no one gonna talk about Kageyamas way of spelling intertextual?

 **TheKingTM** : YOU’RE JUST AS STUOID AS ME DUMBASS!!!

 **Blindishima** : that’s also true

 **Sugarwara** : interrettertextual is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while

 **Sugarwara** : Daichi looks like he doesn’t know wether to laugh or cry

 **Kazoohito** : same

 **Kazoohito** : also they’ve stopped arguing

**_NoShit_ ** _changed their name to **localshit**_

**localshit** : I hate Kinoshita Hisashi, he’s rude to me

 **localshit** : also this groupchat won’t be used for volleyball, ever, I predict this now

 **Sugarwara** : why are you and Kinoshita like this?

 **NoShit** : like what?

 **Sugarwara** : degrading towards yourself with your users

 **localshit** : depression

 **NoShit** : it’s youth culture, you wouldn’t understand, Suga-san

 **Yuurlibero** : Chikara, holy shit

 **Tamagutchi** : lmao

 **thebestsenpai** : yeah Suga-san, get hip with the youth

 **Fathermura Dadchi** : we’re not that old you little shits. I know what a dab is!

 **Blindishima** : oh my god…

 **Yuurlibero** : I’m going to cry

 **Kazoohito** : Hisashi is laughing hysterically rn

 **localshit** : …

 **THESUN** : Daichi-san that’s old as fuck

 **Sugarwara** : GASP

**_thebestsenpai_ ** _changed **Fathermura Dadchi** ’s name to **Dabchi**_

**thebestsenpai** : this is the best day of my life

 **Dabchi** : I sense that you are all making fun of me, and I don’t like it

 **SweetBabyJesus** : well you’ll have to get hip with the youth culture then, huh?

 **Dabchi** : Don’t act as if you know shit!

 **SweetBabyJesus** : perks of having a meme-loving boyfriend

 **Dabchi** : I hate you all, go to sleep!

 **Tamagutchi** : It’s not even ten pm yet tho

 **Dabchi** : SLEEP!!

 **Sugarwara** : Go to sleep, children, or Daichi will make you run more drills tomorrow

 **Sugarwara** : :)

 **Yuurlibero** : suddenly im tired

 **Blindishima** : wow my eyes sure keep falling shut

 **localshit** : bed sounds amazing huh

 **thebestsenpai** : boy, I sure love sleeping

 **Dabchi** : GO! TO! BED!

 **THESUN** : goodnight!!!!

  


**23:11/11:11PM**

**  
**

**Yachi Hitoka** : Oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t respond earlier, I was busy and then you were all having a conversation and I didn’t want to disrupt anything! Goodnight to everyone!

**_Yachi Hitoka_ ** _changed their name to **AnxietyCentral**_

  


**02:45/02:45AM**

**  
**

**Shimizu Kyioko** : It’s alright Hitoka-chan, you needn’t worry about that ;). I hope you sleep well.

**_Shimizu Kyioko_ ** _changed their name to **ManagerUnavailable**_

  


**05:56/05:56AM**

**  
**

**Dabchi** : What the fuck were you doing up at that time Kyioko?

 **ManagerUnavailable** : Insomnia

 **localshit** : ohhh, worm

 **Dabchi** : ? What’s that supposed to mean?

 **localshit** : I relate to Kyioko-san, Daichi-san, fucking get with the times

 **Sugarwara** : lmao get rekt, sweetie

 **Sugarwara** : also I hope y’all are taking care of yourself and don’t overwork yourselves

 **localshit** : no worries

 **ManagerUnavailable** :^^

  


**Thursday 12:30/12:30PM**

**  
**

**AnxietyCentral** : so, Tsukishima-kun just got kicked out of class

 **Sugarwara** : WHAT

 **THESUN** : ha!

 **Dabchi** : How did that happen?

 **AnxietyCentral** : I can’t really tell, I was sitting too far away but it had something to do with Tadashi, and he kept laughing and disrupting the class

 **Yuurlibero** : im crying, this is amazing

 **TheKingTM** : I never thought I’d see the day Tsukishima gets punished for being an asshole

 **thebestsenpai** : @Tamagutchi: EXPLAIN!!!!

 **Tamagutchi** : ok, so, in my defence I didn’t think it was that funny

 **Tamagutchi** : but like, we aren’t allowed to sit next to each other in basically all classes, because we keep making remarks and talking, if we know the topic already, right?

 **Tamagutchi** : anyway, today the guy who usually sits next to me was sick, and Tsukki decided we sit together, and obviously we talk about whats going on

 **Tamagutchi** : only that I understand jackshit about what’s going on. So I keep making stupid fucking comments, just like, snarky stuff and making fun of myself  
And then the teachers like: this’ll be important in the next test and I just go “well holy fuckarons I’ll be rawed by a chainsaw” to him and he just

 **Tamagutchi** : he just lost his shit???? He just choked on his spit or something and didn’t stop laughing?????

 **Tamagutchi** : it wasn’t even that funny but he couldn’t calm down and then he got sent outside for the rest of the lesson

 **Sugarwara** : I’m…

 **Sugarwara** : wow

 **thebestsenpai** : I never thought  Tsukishima to be the type to laugh so hard

 **thebestsenpai** : especially not something that stupid

 **localshit** : Yamaguchi I’m proud of you

 **Tamagutchi** : wait, why?

 **localshit** : Tsukishima prides himself on being stoic and emotionless, seeming like a very polite and well mannered guy with a snarky tongue. And he’s very keen on keeping that reputation, so like, heads off to you.

 **Blindishima** : I didn’t ask for you to psychoanalyse me Ennoshita-san

 **Blindishima** : also it’s true, fuck you Yamaguchi

 **Tamagutchi** : well it’s not my fault you have a shitty sense of humour

 **Blindishima** : shut the fuck up yamaguchi

 **Tamagutchi** : sorry Tsukki :P

 **Dabchi** : Why are you all texting? Don’t you have to be in class?

 **Blindishima** : I’m not.

 **Dabchi** : I’m aware and not pleased.

 **thebestsenpai** : ooohhhh youre in TROUBLE

 **localshit** : you’ll be too, if you don’t get off your phone this second

 **thebestsenpai** : oh shit

 **Yuurlibero** : lmao Ryuu

 **Blindishima** : whipped

 **localshit** : Yuu

 **Yuurlibero** : and that’s my cue to leave

 **Blindishima** : jfc y’all are weak

 **localshit** : get off your damn phone Tsukishima, you’re in enough trouble as it is

 **Blindishima** : bye then

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo,  
> I hope you liked it, and I'll just say real quick, that there'll be a ton more characters and ships than in the Tags but I don't want to clog up the feed (is it called that?) and They'll show up sooner or later :)  
> Idk how to end this note bc I have no social skills, so like,  
> have a good one? :)


End file.
